2 weeks with us.

Today marks two weeks that Meg has been in our lives. What an extraordinary time we have had. As a good friend said in an email earlier in the week, "Already in her young life, Meg has brought hundreds of people to their knees." Perhaps we have a little apostle swaddled before us.

Doctors are doing bloodwork today, and when we arrived at St. V's at 8:30, an EEG had already been performed. No reports of seizures for about 90 hours. We have a lot of tense waiting today.

This blog has not ever been about Jen and me; it is primarily about keeping interested readers informed about Meg's status and about our observations of her improvements and setbacks. She is the lead character; we are simply supporting cast. This comes as no big surprise to other parents. As associate ministers to pastor Meg, we try to pass on some of the limited insights that fall to us on occasion. That said, Jen and I are inevitably growing in our knowledge of Christ and our Father, and certainly in our reliance on the Spirit. Our minds are continually being renewed. A mind renewal that takes place in 10 quick days is much like a three-inch adolescent growth spurt that happens over summer break: It aches a little. Last night, I prayed a prayer that I have never known to pray, so I am convinced that at least some of the words that I blubbered must have been given by the Holy Spirit. Please believe me when I say that this was far from contrived. I thanked God numerous times for the gift of this child, thanked him for his use of her already in his kingdom. I thanked him for entrusting us with a child that has Meg's issues, whatever those may be. I asked that the knower of all answers lend answers to Meg's physicians. But here is where I was no longer the orchestrator of words. I pledged that Jen and I will submit to the divine plan that God has for Meg's life, no matter what that might be. See, I am not strong to pray for miracles. I am grateful that there are members of Christ's family who have that strength and gift, but I am not one. Huck Finn once prayed for fishhooks and didn't get none, and that hurt his faith. I have never wanted that to happen to me. As a result of this weakness, I often do not know how to pray in a circumstance like Meg's. But last night, in the midst of our pleadings for Meg's health, "the dove" descended, perched, and prompted, "Pray for answers to your baby's miraculous healing, and submit to your Father's plan, no matter what that plan may be." Uh, don't you mean but submit? Nope. For the first time, I clearly understood that asking God for something does not automatically set me up for disappointment if he does not grant my petition... if I sincerely acknowledge my limited understanding and submit to his ultimate plan. I can ask, and then defer to God's authority, just as I expect my children to ask me for something and trustingly await my judgment. More advanced (translation: older) readers are thinking, "You just figured that out, Throne?" I'm a little slow. I have heard scripture my whole life, but some truths only lay on the topsoil and do not actually take root until we are placed in circumstances to put those truths to practice. Last night, the weather was just right, and the Holy Spirit brought the rain to allow this Biblical truth to firmly plant itself and become more than just a platitude. To quote Marty McFly, "Heavy."

Matthew 26:39. "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." I never understood the point of this prayer. Why pray for something, if God is going to do what he wants anyway? Last night the Spirit allowed me an understanding that my mind could not. It wasn't emotional, it wasn't fuzzy, it just was. Thank ya, Jesus!